Say SORRY Mr. CM

“If it had not been (Major) Sandeep's house, not even a dog would have glanced that way...” Commented by our Honorable chief minister Mr. V.S. Achuthanandan at being turned away at the door by Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan's father.....

I feel shame on myself for having a chief minister like him who doesn’t know how to react to a father's feelings who just lost his one and only one son. That too on a son who sacrificed his life for makes us to be safe. We should feel proud of him…Instead of that that our CM insulted his family.

As my brother belongs to Air force, I can understand what a soldier's family feels. In Major Sandeep's case, he himself joined with the team for Taj operation without any compulsion or hesitation. He has given up his life for our nation...but what our politician's gave him back?

Politicians should understand it’s not as easy to go for a commando operation as cutting ribbons. More over who gave them the rights to comment on a father's feelings? Mr. V.S Achuthanandan is representing more than 3 cores of malayalees.He symbolize the attitude of malayalee...by commenting like this, he made us to feel shame on ourselves. He gave an opportunity to the media to attack on him, even on the attitude of malayalee. All over the nation,whole media has populated that the malayalee major though Sandeep settled in Karnataka...

I am surprised how could CM say like this? Always told that Kerala is the 100% literate state. But the CM of 100% cultured state doesn’t know how to behave. It simply means that he doesn’t deserve to be the CM. He should apologies... but he refused to apologies for the denigrating remark till.

Mr. CM shouldn’t have said like this as being the most experienced politician in today’s Indian politics... Such a denigrating comment doesn’t suit one of India’s most respectable veteran leaders…After all he as such a political history which made us to proud on him…but today he himself forced us to oppose him...to blame him...to ask him to apologies publicly to the Major’ family…

I'm really sorry Major. Our state apologies to you for what our CM said...We all love you...We proud of you...

Say Sorry Mr. CM atleast for our state's sake…

ആത്മാവില്‍ തൊട്ടു വിളിച്ചത് പോലെ...

ഞായറാഴ്ച രാവിലെ എല്ലാവരും എന്ത് ചെയ്യാനാണ് ഇഷ്ടപെടുന്നത്? ഒരു ചൂടു ചായയുമായി പത്രത്തിന്റെയോ ടിവിയുടെയോ മുന്‍പില്‍ അമ്മ ചീത്ത പറയും വരെ കുത്തിയിരിക്കാന്‍.. അല്ലെ?? രാവിലെ ഓഫീസിലെ വരണ്ട തണുപ്പില്‍ , ബോറന്‍ കമ്പ്യൂട്ടര്‍ സ്ക്രീനിനു മുന്‍പില്‍ ഇരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഞായറാഴ്ച വീട്ടില്‍ ഇരിക്കുന്നവരോട് അസൂയ തോന്നി എന്നുള്ളത് സത്യം ...എന്തെങ്കിലും ഒന്നു എഴുതെടി ,എന്‍റെ വായനശീലം കളയല്ലേ എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു എന്‍റെ സുഹൃത്ത് പറയാന്‍ തുടങ്ങിയിട്ട് കുറച്ചു ദിവസമായി...എന്ത് എന്ന് ചോദിച്ചപ്പോള്‍ അവന്‍ കുറെ വിഷയങ്ങളും തന്നു..പക്ഷെ ഒന്നും അങ്ങ് ശരിയായില്ല.. എന്നാ പിന്നെ പാട്ടു കേള്‍ക്കാം എന്ന് കരുതി...പാടി തുടങ്ങിയത് എന്‍റെ വളരെ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട പാട്ടുകളില്‍ ഒന്ന്..
"പുലര്‍കാല സുന്ദര സ്വപ്നത്തില്‍ ഞാന്‍ ഒരു പൂബറ്റയായിന്നു മാറി "

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പ്രഭാതങ്ങളില്‍ പുല്‍ക്കൊടിതുബില്‍ ഇറ്റു വീഴാന്‍ നില്‍‌ക്കുന്ന മഞ്ഞുത്തുള്ളികള്‍ എനിക്ക് ഒരുപാടു പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട കാഴ്ചകളില്‍ ഒന്നാണ്...ജാലകച്ചില്ലില്‍ കൂടിയുള്ള മഴ...അസ്തമയ സൂര്യന്‍റെ ചുവപ്പ് ....കുഞ്ഞുങ്ങളുടെ നിഷ്കളങ്കമായ ചിരി.. തട്ടികളിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ പിടിവിട്ടു ആകാശത്തിലേക്ക് ഉയര്‍ന്നു പോവുന്ന ബലൂണ്‍...ഒക്കെ എനിക്ക് ഏറെ പ്രിയപെട്ടതാണ്..എനിക്ക് അറിയാം നിങ്ങളില്‍ പലരുടെയും ഇഷ്ടങ്ങളില്‍ ഇവയില്‍ ഏതെങ്കിലും ഒക്കെ പെടും എന്ന്...

പരസ്പരം കാണാനോ സംസാരിക്കാനോ മറ്റുള്ളവര്‍ക്കായി അല്‍പ സമയം ചിലവഴിക്കാനോ നേരമില്ലാത്ത ഈ കാലത്തില്‍ ജീവിക്കുന്നുവെന്നും മനോഹരമായതെന്തോക്കെയോ നമുക്കു ചുറ്റും ഉണ്ടെന്നും തോന്നിപ്പിക്കുന്നതും ഇങ്ങനെ എന്തൊക്കെയോ ആണ്... ഓര്‍മയില്ലേ ആ പാട്ടു..സുകൃതത്തില്‍ മമ്മൂട്ടി പാടുന്നത്...

"എന്‍റെ വഴികളില്‍ മൂക സാന്ത്വനമായ പൂവുകളെ ..
എന്‍റെ മിഴികളില്‍ വീണുടഞ്ഞ കിനാക്കളെ നന്ദി..
മധുരമാം പാഥേയമായി തേന്‍ കനികള്‍ തന്ന തരുക്കളെ..
തളിരുമീ ഉടല്‍ താങ്ങി നിര്‍ത്തിയ പരമമാം കാരുണ്യമേ ...നന്ദി..."

പലപ്പോഴും പ്രകൃതിയുടെ ഈ സാന്ത്വനമാണ് നമുക്കു നഷ്ടപെടുന്നത്...ഒരുപാടു വിഷമം വരുമ്പോള്‍ ,അത് കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ ആരും ഇല്ല എന്ന് തോന്നുമ്പോള്‍ ആകാശത്തില്‍ ഒറ്റപെട്ടു നില്‍‌ക്കുന്ന നക്ഷത്രങ്ങളോട് പറയാറുണ്ട് ഞാന്‍ എന്‍റെ വേദന...തോന്നാറില്ലേ നിങ്ങള്‍ക്കും ആരെങ്കിലും കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു എങ്കിലെന്നു...ചിലപ്പോള്‍ ഒരു പരിഹാരം പോലും നമ്മള്‍ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നുണ്ടാവില്ല..ഒന്ന് കേള്‍ക്കാന്‍ ഒരാള്‍...പറഞ്ഞു തീരുമ്പോള്‍ ചിലപ്പോള്‍ ആ സങ്കടവും തീര്‍ന്നു പോയിട്ടുണ്ടാവും...നിശബ്ദമായ സാന്ത്വനം തരാന്‍ കഴിയുന്ന എത്രയോ കൂട്ടുകാരുണ്ട് നമുക്കു ചുറ്റും നമ്മള്‍ അറിയാതെ...

പറഞ്ഞു തുടങ്ങിയിടത്ത് അല്ല അല്ലെ തീര്‍ന്നത് ?? പക്ഷെ എന്തോ ഇങ്ങനെ നിര്‍ത്താന്‍ ആണ് തോന്നിയത്....കാരണം ഇങ്ങനെ മനസ്സില്‍ എവിടെയൊക്കെയോ അവശേഷിക്കുന്ന ചില ഇഷ്ടങ്ങളാണ് ജീവിക്കാന്‍ പ്രേരിപ്പിക്കുന്നത്..ജീവിക്കുന്നു എന്ന തോന്നല്‍ ഉണ്ടാക്കുന്നത്...ഗൃഹാതുരത്വം എന്ന് പറയാമോ? .....

സീറ്റിലേക്ക് ചാരിക്കിടന്നു കണ്ണുകള്‍ അടച്ചു ഞാന്‍ എന്‍റെ മനസിനെ എവിടെയൊക്കെയോ അലയാന്‍ വിട്ടു...മഞ്ഞു വീണു കിടക്കുന്ന വഴികളുടെ.....പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട കാഴ്ച്ചകള്‍ തേടി.. പശ്ചാത്തലത്തില്‍
"അരികില്‍ നീയുണ്ടയിരുന്നെന്കില്‍ ഞാന്‍ ഒരു മാത്ര വെറുതെ നിനച്ചു പോയി..."

Guy @ the cab

It was one of the evenings and I was on the way back to my room after my morning shift. I got into the cab first and waiting for some other people also to my cab so that I can ask the driver to move. After some while, one guy came .he was on phone ...He sat on the front seat and continued his conversation. I am a kind of person who prefers to keep silence while traveling. Always try to find out new things in my way though it’s my regular route to the office. So I usually don’t care if someone is talking over phone next to me. Why coz I noticed him that he was also a malayalee and moreover he was talking like, no one else is there around him and he is absolutely alone with his phone and apart from him, no one else is a malayalee.

After few seconds, I got to understand that he is talking with his girlfriend…and after sometime, 2 more people joined us, so we became four in the cab. Then he was saying to his girlfriend that “hmm,cab niranju kavinju,ini eppol ethum ennu kandu ariyanam.” obviously, I didn’t like the comment. I thought of telling him “Saab,plz do mind that there may be another one who can understand your language” But how could I? He is 200% dedicated to his phone. Hmm... Ok...I let it off… -:)

After sometime, I realized that he is not just talking, but simply romancing with her(pacha malayalthil paranjal pancharayadikkuka). His pitch was so high that it overcame the volume of music played in the cab. We could clearly hear what all he is speaking. I got irritated. He was planning their honeymoon trip, the way of wedding video should look like, which are the songs to be included. I suppose she would be his fiancee .he was addressing her by her pet name. I heard many times “kuttaa nee kazhicho,nee urangiyo …”(:P).To be honest I cant write the whole dialogue sequence since they need censoring. I felt like laugh loudly, but, I didn’t…then also, I thought ok, he may not be getting enough time to speak with his girl. So let him speak.

But, no way, he prompted me to do something. he again commented on us by saying that,”hmm,avideyum ivideyumaayittu 2-3 ennam undu cabil.ithinyokke irakkiyittu njan eppozha chelluka?” I lost my control. I messaged my friend to call me and talk as if she called me to ask something. I asked the driver to stop the music, and then talked with her in Malayalam. I came to know that the other end sound became lower and then stopped completely. Then I too hang the phone. I could see his face and I really wish if you also could see him at that time. He was like paled and completely out of conscious. Not even single drop of blood is there on his face. If he got shocked this much, you could imagine, I guess, what kind of conversation he had. I couldn’t control my laughter and afraid whether I would . But I controlled my self coz I felt pity of him by seeing his paled and terrible face. After the other two people got down, we two were in the cab. Then I got another call so that he assured that am a malayalee and I guessed he might be fainted out….Then I got down. While closing the door, I looked at him and it was clearly written over my face that “boss, don’t think that the people around you are deaf and dumb so that you can speak out whatever you want to”. And am sure that he understood what I wanted to tell. -:)

Do you think that the way he behaved is the right one in the cab? I don’t. Coz, of course am admitting that it’s his personal life and he has the right to talk to his girlfriend/lover as the way he prefers. And others don’t have any rights to question them. But I believe, there are at times, when we need to take care of others who are surrounded to us, so that our personal things would be remain as personalized. I don’t think that my private details are needed to be shared by the public. But, nowadays, in this very busy life, we can’t assure that we will always be in a private place so that we can keep our personal things as secret. It may happen. Even though, I think its better we should take care of others, coz they may get irritated with our conversation.

I have gone through this type of experiences many times before. But this time I felt damn irritated. Coz the way he behaved as others are deaf ... I hope next time onwards, he will consider the people around him before going for a talk with his girlfriend. -:)_

സ്വപ്നം ......

ദുസ്വപ്നങ്ങളുടെ ഒരു പെരുമഴ ആയിരുന്നു ആ രാത്രിയില്‍...ഭയപ്പെടുത്തുന്ന രൂപങ്ങളെ....അപരിചിതമായ മുഖങ്ങളെ ...രക്തത്തില്‍ കുളിച്ച ശരീരങ്ങളെ.. എല്ലാം ചേര്‍ന്നു ശ്വാസം മുട്ടിക്കുകയിരുന്നു എന്നെ...ഏതോ യുദ്ധഭൂമിയില്‍ നില്‍ക്കും പോലെ..

അവിടെ നിന്നും ഞാന്‍ ചിത്രശലഭങ്ങളുടെ ചിറകുകള്‍ കൊഴിഞ്ഞു വീണു കിടക്കുന്ന വഴിയിലൂടെ നടന്നു മറ്റൊരു ലോകത്ത് എത്തി.....വളരെ മനോഹരമായ ഒരു ലോകം..അവിടെ നിറയ ചെറു ചെറു കൂടാരങ്ങള്‍ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു ...പണി തീര്‍ന്നതും തീര്‍ന്നു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നതുമായ നിരവധി ചെറിയ വീടുകള്‍..നിറയെ ചെടികളും പുഴയും കിളികളും ഒക്കെയുള്ള സ്വപ്നലോകം പോലെ സുന്ദരമായ സ്ഥലം...എനിക്ക് ചോദിക്കണം എന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു അവിടെ കണ്ടവരോട് ഇതു എവിടെയാണ് എന്ന്..പക്ഷെ അവര്‍ ആരും ഒന്നും അറിയുന്നില്ല എന്ന് തോന്നി,ഞാന്‍ അടുത്ത് ചെന്നത് പോലും..

"ഹേയ്" പുറകില്‍ നിന്നും ഒരു വിളി കേട്ടു ഞാന്‍ ഞെട്ടി തിരിഞ്ഞു..വിചിത്രമായ വേഷ വിധാനങ്ങളോട് കൂടിയ ഒരാള്‍..അയാളുടെ മുഖം മറച്ചിരുന്നു....പക്ഷെ അയാളുടെ കണ്ണുകള്‍ എനിക്ക് കാണാമായിരുന്നു..അവയുടെ ആര്‍ദ്രത എന്നെ ആകര്‍ഷിച്ചു.."ഇവിടെ വാ"അയാള്‍ വിളിച്ചു..ഞാന്‍ ചെന്നപ്പോള്‍ ചോദ്യം.."എന്തിന് വന്നു ഇവിടെ?എങ്ങനെ വന്നു?" ഞാന്‍ ഉത്തരമില്ലാതെ നിന്നു..കാരണം എനിക്ക് അറിയില്ലായിരുന്നു എങ്ങനെ എത്തി അവിടെ,എന്തിന് വന്നു എന്നൊന്നും...അയാള്‍ തുടര്‍ന്നു.... "ഇവിടെ വരേണ്ടവരെ ഞങ്ങള്‍ തന്നെ പോയി കൊണ്ടു വരികയാണ്‌ പതിവ്...തനിച്ചു ആരും ഇവിടെ വരാറില്ല..." ... "അതെന്ത് ??" എന്നൊരു ചോദ്യം എന്‍റെ മനസ്സില്‍ ഉയര്‍ന്നു..അത് മനസിലാക്കിയിട്ടെന്ന പോലെ അയാള്‍ പറഞ്ഞു.."ഇതു മരിച്ചവര്‍ക്കായി കൂടാരങ്ങള്‍ പണിയുന്ന നാട് ആണ്.." ഒന്നു നടുങ്ങിയോ ഞാന്‍??? ഒരു സംശയം ..."ഞാന്‍ മരിച്ചുവോ???"....അയാള്‍ ചിരിച്ചു..."ഇല്ല ദീപാ ,നീ ഇപ്പോഴും ജീവനോടെ ഉണ്ട്..അതാണ് ഞാന്‍ ചോദിച്ചത് നീ എങ്ങനെ ഇവിടെ എത്തി എന്ന് ??" അയാള്‍ എന്‍റെ പേരു വിളിച്ചത് എന്നെ ആശ്ചര്യപ്പെടുത്തി !!! എങ്കിലും ഞാനും ചിരിച്ചു...

ഞാന്‍ ചോദിച്ചു "അപ്പോള്‍ ഇവയൊക്കെ മരിച്ചവര്‍ക്ക് താമസിക്കാനുള്ള വീട് ആണോ?" അയാള്‍ പറഞ്ഞു "അതെ". "ഇവയൊക്കെ എന്താ പല നിറത്തില്‍??" ഞാന്‍ വീണ്ടും ചോദിച്ചു.. "അതോ,അത് ഞങ്ങള്‍ ആത്മാക്കളുടെ ഏറ്റവും ഇഷ്ട നിറം കൊടുക്കും അവരുടെ വീടിന്......" അയാള്‍ മറുപടി തന്നു...എന്‍റെ മനസ്സില്‍ ഒരു കുസൃതി ചോദ്യമുയര്‍ന്നു ...അപ്പോള്‍ ഒരാള്‍ക്ക് രണ്ടു നിറങ്ങള്‍ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ടതാണ് എങ്കിലോ??? എനിക്ക് രണ്ടു നിറങ്ങള്‍ വളരെ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ടതാണ്..ചോദിക്കണം എന്ന് തോന്നി എനിക്ക്..പക്ഷെ ചോദിച്ചത് മറ്റൊന്നായിരുന്നു..."എനിക്ക് വേണ്ടിയും ഉണ്ടാവുമോ ഇവിടെ ഒരു കൂടാരം?ഉണ്ടെങ്കില് ‍എനിക്ക് കാണാന്‍ കഴിയുമോ?" ഉത്തരം മറ്റൊരു ചോദ്യമായിരുന്നു.."ഇവിടെ നിനക്കായി ഒരു കൂടാരം പണി തുടങ്ങിയാല്‍ അതിന്‍റെ അര്‍ത്ഥം എന്താണ് എന്ന് നിനക്കു അറിയാമോ??" ഞാന്‍ ഒന്നും മിണ്ടിയില്ല...അര്‍ത്ഥം എനിക്ക് അറിയാമായിരുന്നു..."നീ തന്നെ നോക്കിക്കോളൂ " അയാള്‍ പറഞ്ഞു....

എന്‍റെ ഹൃദയം ശക്തിയായി മിടിക്കുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു...ഞാന്‍ പതിയെ നടന്നു..കുറെ ദൂരം..ആരോ ശക്തമായി പിടിച്ചു കുലുക്കിയിട്ടെന്ന പോലെ ഞാന്‍ ഞെട്ടി ഉണര്‍ന്നു..എന്‍റെ അലാറം അടിക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു..സമയം നാലര.. ഒരു സ്വപ്നത്തിലായിരുന്നു ഞാന്‍ ഇത്രയും നേരം എന്ന് വിശ്വസിക്കാന്‍ പ്രയാസം തോന്നി..ഒരു അല്‍പനേരം കൂടി കഴിഞ്ഞിരുന്നു എങ്കില്‍ എനിക്കായി അവിടെ കൂടാരം പണിതു തുടങ്ങിയോ എന്ന് അറിയാമായിരുന്നു എന്ന് ഓര്‍ത്തപ്പോള്‍ നഷ്ടബോധവും...

മരിച്ചവര്‍ക്കായി കൂടാരം പണിയുന്ന നാടിനെ കുറിച്ചു ഒരു കഥ വായിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട് ഞാന്‍....പക്ഷെ ആ സ്വപ്നം??..എനിക്ക് വിചിത്രമായി തോന്നി..കാരണം ആ കഥ എത്രയോ വര്‍ഷങ്ങള്‍ക്കു മുന്‍പ്‌ വായിച്ചതാണ് ഞാന്‍...മുഴുവനും ഓര്‍ക്കുന്നു പോലും ഇല്ല....

സ്വപ്നങ്ങളുടെ അര്‍ത്ഥം വ്യഖാനിക്കാന്‍ കഴിയുന്ന ഒരാളെ തേടുകയാണ് ഞാന്‍ ഇപ്പോള്‍....

Yeh Dosti hum nahin thodenge.....

On friendship day, my friend told me to write something in my blog.I thought why can’t it be about my friends??? I love to have lots of friends…I have too…from different parts of the world…among them, few are very close to me…they can even interpret my heartbeats…some others, though we are not sharing personal matters also, make me feel that they are my good friends. Then just Hi-hello friends…but all are my friends...

Whenever thinking of my friends, one face will always come first…the one who sat beside me in my nursery classes…one who was with me in almost all moments of my life and still.. Fortunately she is still with me as my best friend…the friendship for last 23 years…

Before going for my engineering classes, I joined for B.Sc .I was there just for 2 months. The most fabulous team of my friends, I met there. We were just 20 in the class. Due to the ragging from seniors, we got to close each other very soon. After 2 months, I left the college …still we are friends…not just friends, but very good friends. All knows about each and every one’s current situation…the most interesting thing is I haven’t met them after I left the college. I.e. for the last 6 years…but we never felt that we are away from each other…distance never came in between…The sad part is one of them is going to Dubai soon . The one among them, who is most close to me…He is the one with whom I always feel comfortable and recognized. Probably am not going to meet him again…Wishing him all the very best…

Then, my engineering college friends…we were almost 40 in number. There I met one whom i thought that I could count till my end…a lot of similarities were there in between us…starts from our name itself…but now ,I don’t know what happened in between us, where our wavelength became opposite, who is wrong exactly…me or she? I’m not saying that am perfect. I might have also done mistake…but I tried my level best to sort out and wished from my heart to get her back. But nothing is worked out…we just split off for ever…and I feel that whatever may happen, we won’t be together in future for sure…’Coz once the distance shadowed over attachment , rejoin is not that much easy…

Then, Bangalore comes in picture…Here also I got a few of friends whom I can count till my end…whom am considering as my strength…whom I met in the worst moments of my life and became my inspiration to live…with whom I can share whatever I think…the one with whom if I don’t make at least one clash in a day, feel bore and if its done, ends up with tears in my eyes and always I prefer to say sorry first …

Next, my batch mates in Wipro comes...we were 53 from different parts of India...It was a mini-India. We kept aside all constrains like languages, regional integration and all and became a true friend’s gang within the limited time of training. After training, we got posted in different locations and still in touch with great intensity.

Two of my friends, I think I should refer them specially…simply ‘coz both of them are very special to me…I met one of them in a camp during school days….just 3 days together…but we were made to be friends for life long… a lot of things are there which we love, like, dew drops on the tip of leaves in early morning, rain, long walks ,books, writing, reading, poems, outlook about friendship, and a lot…in most of the cases, our wavelength matches….Now she is into her most favorite field and moving on in life…

Next one is my classmate during engineering days…we sat together in class for 4 years…shared each and every moments of our life…happiness, tears, tension, wishes, hopes and all emotions. The most special thing in between us is, even if we are not talking for few months also, we are not feeling that we are away from each other…where we stopped last time; we could always start from there in next time…but the interesting thing is, in almost all the cases, we do have different opinions…our attitude is different, our likes/dislikes are different, way of thinking is extremely different. Sometime we are in opposite poles…opposite poles attract na? The same thing is happened in between us… She is married and living happily with her hubby and now awaiting for their baby doll …


As days pass away, the frequency of calls/mails may decrease; get together may be once in a while. But friends are always friends…I never choose my friends on the basis of physical constraints …I always believe feeling good is more important than looking good. With whom I feel good, I call them my friends. So I still have a number of friends who always try to reach me if I stay away also….


One forward message, which I got to my mobile long back, still I keep in my
inbox,

“We’ve met each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by DECISION and will be friends for ever by PROMISE”


And, I promise you my dear friends, I will be your friend till my end……

The day after the blast….

Now the time is 2.46 AM...Late night, @ office… Stretching the shift…Because my team mates couldn’t come to office due to the unavailability of cabs after the serial bomb blasts in Bangalore city...

It has been one year over after I came here in Garden city, but this I my veryfirst experience, i.e., a live experience with a bomb blast...I can’t even imagine how the people in Kashmir living…?

Fig ->:The places were bomb is blasted…

I was thinking about the family of those two people who died in the blast…I was thinking mainly because, I also could be there instead of them since I crossed the same road where the blast happened just half an hour before…and even I never thought that there is going to happen such an incident shortly….instead of their family, my home could have received a bad news…but thank God, I was safe. But I know luck always won’t be with me…

After reaching office, I got to know about the blast…still me feel somewhat strange feeling while recollecting the moments…started to call each other and as usual, all network got jam. I was getting only one reply from both of my land line and hand phone “network busy, please try after sometime...”…Full of tension, anxiety, pain, fear, searching in news channels, net for latest updates, discussion ,rumors....Again keep on trying to reach via phone know whether my loved ones are safe and no issues with them...

I didn’t tell my parents about the blasts first…I called them in a moment when I not usually used to call them…I told them “I called simply, just want to talk to you”. My mom was telling me “I know, its not simply, there is something for sure...” but I didn’t say anything and hang the phone...after sometime, they came to know about the blasts from news channels and called be back...I could feel the tension in my papa’s voice...both of them were very tensed and like dying and asking me why I didn’t tell them in my previous call…in fact I just don’t want to make them afraid…my mom was saying “come back soon..”

I described my own feelings because I know you all might have gone through the same situation today…you all might be wished to back to home…my brother was saying “am rushing off to my home, enough of Bangalore...” But unfortunately we all know, we can’t run away like that by leaving our job, commitments all here…Heard that the terrorist's target was MNC’s…

There may be reasons for the terrorists for doing all those things…Government also might be taking actions to avoid unwanted incidents…but again all those incidents are repeating like an unavoidable thing in day-today life...who all are loosing their life/dear ones, we don’t know…just we can do pray that at least our dear ones should be safe…

And, once the network was started to work properly, there was a rain of calls, to know whether am safe or not, to know where am….to be honest, today only I came to know that there are so many people who do take care of me….who wants to see me safe…I got calls even form the very unexpected person...love you all….


Hopefully, I can see my dear ones again….

My Dreams..unlimited...

It’s all bout my dreams…I have got a lots of dreams…not just daydreams…but as our former President Mr.Kalam says, the dreams for the life time... the dreams for which am living…the dreams those are the inspirations for me to live…

But, for sure, all my dreams are not the ones for which am aimed to. There are some dreams for which am struggling a lot. I need to accomplish them. And am all set to suffer anything and ready to go till the end for achieving them…I can call them as my ultimate goals. Or my destination…

There are some other dreams. If it happens ,I would be happy ,else also not much worries…like some bonus points in life...am not desiring for them from my heart…but again listed in my dreams with low priorities…

Here am saying about some of my dreams those I never want to make true…I know I can make them true...but I don’t want to...you know why? There are some special desires which would be more gorgeous if they remain as dream itself….Moreover, if all of our dreams became true, then what is there to motivate us to live?

Am crazy about chocolates…I love them like anything…I remember, my papa used to get me chocolates everyday when I was young...he knows that without them, I won’t be happy…and whenever he gave me one, I used to tell him “no, papa I need two”. if he gave me two, I said” I need three”. Like that….still he gets them for me whenever am being to home…In my childhood, it was one of my most favorite dream that one day I would buy 1000’s of chocolates and fill my room, my bag, everything with them and will have whenever I would like to…today I know I can have lots and loads of chocolates at any time…but sure, I won’t do that…'Coz the sweetness which I feel from that dream, won’t be there in those chocolates…you know why? There are some things which would be more more beautiful if they would remain as dream itself…

Another thing is the story books…books are like obsession to me…still I have plenty of children‘s story book like “balarama”,”poombata”…old issues of them…my mom knows that those are a part of my life…and she used to keep them very safely…now also …sometime me and my brother took them and revise…then my parents would ask ‘do you have any exams on this tomorrow??” In my school days, exchange of story books was a regular process between friends…I still remember those days when we eagerly waited for the next issue of balarama for reading “mayavi” and “jumbanum thumbanum”…and I wished if I could collect all the issues of all the books!!!!!! And now I know I can buy all the issues of story books in every week/month as soon as they get published out….but I won’t do that…'Coz there are some things which would be more more beautiful if they would remain as dream itself rather than in reality…

I always love my dreams…no matter whether those are too small /big, whether I want to make them true or not ,whether anyone cares about them or not…. But I love my dreams a lot since they are giving me the inspirations to live…to love my life...to cherish each moments of my life…In my sky, dreams are unlimited…..

I just want to tell you....

“Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."- {Quoted by Napoleon Hill…not mine...-:)}

മഴക്കാലം വീണ്ടും വിരുന്നെത്തിയപ്പോള്‍...

വീണ്ടുമൊരു മഴക്കാലം കൂടി..ഒരായിരം ഓര്‍മകളും ചിരിയും കണ്ണീരും എല്ലാം ചേര്‍ന്ന മഴ തുള്ളികള്‍ കവിളില്‍ കൂടി ഒഴുകി ഇറങ്ങിയപ്പോള്‍ മനസു പഴയ സ്കൂള്‍ മുറ്റതെവിടെയോ ആയിരുന്നു... നനഞു കുതിര്‍ന്ന യുനിഫോമും വെള്ളം ഇറ്റു വീഴുന്ന കുടയും ഒക്കെ ആയിട്ട് ക്ലാസ്സ് മുറിയിലേക്ക് കയറിചെല്ലുന്ന പ്രഭാതങ്ങള്‍.. തണുതിട്ടു കിടുകിടാന്നു വിറക്കുന്നുണ്ടാവും... ഒരു ബെഞ്ചില്‍ ഉള്ള എല്ലാവരും കൂടി അടുങ്ങി ഇരിക്കും...തണുപ്പു കുറക്കാന്‍.. ഇപ്പോള്‍ എയര്‍ കണ്ടിഷണരിന്റെ വരണ്ട തണുപ്പില്‍ ഇരിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ അറിയാതെ മോഹിച്ചു പോവുന്നു ആ മഴയില്‍ ഒരിക്കല്‍ കൂടി തണുത്തു വിറക്കാന്‍...

ബാഗും പുസ്തകങ്ങളും ഒക്കെ നനഞ്ഞിട്ടുണ്ടാവും॥ ഒരു മണവും ഉണ്ടാവും അതിനൊക്കെ॥നല്ല മണം ആയിരുന്നോ എന്തോ... അറിയില്ല...എങ്കിലും ഇപ്പോള്‍ കൊതി തോന്നുന്നു..ഒരിക്കല്‍ കൂടി സ്കൂളില്‍ പോവാന്‍..മഴ നനഞ്ഞു പോവാന്‍ ..

മഴ എന്നും എനിക്ക് ഭ്രാന്തായിരുന്നു.. എന്റെ പ്രണയം..എന്റെ പ്രിയപെട്ട സുഹൃത്ത് ... എന്നും അടങ്ങാത്ത ആവേശം...എന്റെ ജീവിതത്തിലെ എല്ലാ നല്ല നിമിഷങ്ങളിലും മഴ എന്റെ കൂടെ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു..എല്ലാ സങ്കടങ്ങളിലും.. എല്ലാ നേട്ടങ്ങളിലും..എല്ലാ നഷ്ടങ്ങളിലും മഴ എന്നോടോപ്പോം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു...ചിലപ്പോള്‍ സ്വാന്തനമായി..ചിലപ്പോള്‍ ആശ്രയമായി..മറ്റു ചിലപ്പോള്‍ എന്റെ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ മറയ്ക്കാനുള്ള ഒരു ആയുധമായി..

ഒരു പാടു ഇഷ്ടത്തോടെ ഹൃദയത്തോട്‌ ചേര്ത്തു പിടിച്ച ചില ബന്ധങ്ങളുടെ തുടക്കത്തിലും മഴ ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നു കൂട്ടായി.... ഒരിക്കലും ഇനി തിരികെ വരില്ല എന്ന് പറഞ്ഞു എന്റെ സ്നേഹവും സന്തോഷവും എന്നില്‍ നിന്നും അകന്നു പോയ ദിവസവും മഴയുണ്ടായിരുന്നു॥

മഴ എനിക്ക് ഒരു അനുഗ്രഹം കൂടിയാണ്..പലപ്പോഴും കവിലുകളെ തലോടി കടന്നു പോവുന്ന മഴ തുള്ളികള്‍ എന്റെ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ തുള്ളികളെ മറയ്ക്കുന്നു... മഴ തുള്ളികള്‍ പൊഴിഞ്ഞു വീഴുന്ന ഇടവഴിയിലൂടെ തനിച്ചു നടന്നു പോവുമ്പോള്‍ എനിക്ക് അറിയാം ഞാന്‍ ഒറ്റയ്ക്ക് ആണ് എന്ന്...എന്നും എപ്പോഴും..

Trust, Relation and Forgiveness

I’ve been thinking a lot more about forgiveness the nowadays। We’ve all been wronged at some point in our life। In light of many experiences in life, can we learn to forgive and have unconditional love for those who so clearly haven’t had it for us? Is our forgiveness always divine or, is our forgiveness centered on selfish reasons - to get well and move on?

Just think about a relation which isn’t all able to see the pain in the eyes... Do you think that it’s healthy one? I don’t. Some relationships have some splendid features which can heal any wound ….but some others, though even close and being near always, only helps to bleed inside...

It is said that everyone is a spiritual teacher, especially those who hurt us. There are some people you see on a regular basis - the ones who sometimes pulverize your nerves, push your buttons, or even those who remind you of painful times. Our adversaries turn out to be our greatest teachers then, don’t you think? Does forgiveness then start a healing process?

The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."

Forgiveness comes to picture only when the one who get let off by the other really wishes for the same… until and unless if she/he doesn’t wish for the forgiveness of his/her loved one, it doesn’t have any value…and of course our forgiveness will be treated as our Achilles' heel or mad…and we will be treated as the ones who is not realistic or not practical as to live in this world….but lemme have your answer from your heart, does love and relation can be practical? If can, it would be selfish na? Then can it be called as love or relation which is said to be as the most beautiful thins in the world….

And if we forgave even without saying anything or before even begging for the same, of course the other end won’t understand the value of forgiveness and always treat as the most waste and worst character in this world…why so? Is our forgiveness not divine?

Someone asked me once “What is more painful?? When a person whom you trusted hurts you or a person whom who hurt still trusts you??? Which one do you think?


What do you have to say about forgiveness, Answerers? How powerful is it? Is forgiveness even realistic? What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Can you truly forgive everything? What would be hardest thing for you to forgive?

Care for you...

This is a mail get forwarded to me…I liked very much...i think the message in this story is extremely beautiful…I just want to share it with my friends….

Do read…


The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside...

”See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful…” This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him.

Every one started murmuring something or other about this son.” This guy seems to be a krack..." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .." Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit. Anup ," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum...and don’t disturb public henceforth"

The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."


“The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth, our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem/situation better before taking a harsh action”

Why do we kill others???

It happened during one of my very boring morning shifts…after carrying out my routine jobs, I was directed to online news papers…by seeing the title itself, I got upset and felt that I should not go back to kerala ,my home town ,where I want to be till my end…its related to the political murders happened in north part of kerala…(I think I should not specify the name of those places since I have got some good friends over there and I don’t want to hurt them at all)

Almost 7 people got murdered by that day…only and only because of some political misunderstandings (???)The most interesting thing is that there are no personal issues in between those who got murdered and the people who killed them. Then why they are killing others? What they get from hurting others?

I know am very particular to my parents… as well, all children are so much important to their parents. They don’t want to loose their child for some third rate political reasons. As far as my concern, I don’t want to loose my father/brother/lover/friend in such a way. And I know nobody wants the same…

Why they are not thinking that the one who get killed by them is someone else’s son/husband/brother/father/friend/lover? They also feel bad na when they loose their loved ones? Then why don’t they think that the same pain will be there for them also who get affected by their activities??

How could an individual be so cruel??? They may not be human beings…but I don’t want insult animals by calling those devils as animals. Because animals kill other animals only for satisfying their hungry…nothing more than that…then what can we call those devils who do not have any concern about others feelings/tears??? Would they escape from the curse of those mothers who had lost their children in the cheap third rate political drama??? No…never...they will have to pay the price once because not even a single human being has the rights to play with others feelings…and if we hurt someone purposefully na,it would come back to us and we need to pay the price twice more than they suffered….

Let me ask you one thing. .why we are killing others?? For land??? For money?? For property? Or for those politicians who gets profit from them ignorance of common people? I still remember one photograph which I have seen during the violence in Gujarat…one handicapped person, he doesn’t have both of his legs walking with the help of creches, and he was running a small shop. He is begging in front of the violent crowd “please don’t kill me….” By holding his hands together….but those deaf and blind devils killed him by firing him with his shop itself….I can still feel the pain/fear in his eyes...whenever I remember about picture, I cant realize what’s there in my mind…I know still my eyes get filled with tears…I know those people wont get rid of the curse of the tears of that poor fellow….

And it is almost 15 days over after those unhappy incidents in kerala.still the ministers and police can’t do anything. Investigation is in progress still…

I would love to request to my friends from those places, please spread up the messages of love and brotherhood. please don’t let your mind also to go as per the order of selfish politicians so that your loved ones should loose you…..do let your heart rule you because heart can feel the pain of others…it can empathize with them who hurts….I have heard a lot more about the northern part of kerala, ie people are much kind hearted and have some good values. but some of them among you itself trying to make others feel that you are not good at all… you don’t have any human considerations Whenever we hear the names of northern districts in kerala, almost all of us remembers the political issues and murders over there instead of the good things happened there… …so don’t let them to do the same…be a human…। Be empathic…be compassionate…

because

I don’t want to loose you my dear friend…..

My Plus days...

One fine morning… it was the day when I went back to school where I did my 11th and 12th …I stepped into my school compound, I just forgot the present and start roaming around in the past…it’s nearly 6 years after I left my school. But still I memorize the day when I stepped into the class on the very first day...Joining the class after 3 months of the school year from another school. So my class was waiting for the new comer. Got a very cheerful welcome and following those 2 years. The most gorgeous time in my life…the days which I never desire to put out of my mind till my end...

I was wandering around… in the class… in the library...in the lab...in the floor…wherever I wanted to go, I went. All I could see my friends, I could listen to our hum, I could feel the mesmerizing environment into which I lived before 6 years…

I went to my teachers. ..My ever loving best teachers. neither them nor me ever felt it’s almost 6 years over after I left the school…chatting like as before…shared everything….they recollected each and every moments of their first batch...the most electrifying and most vibrant batch…..each and every faces, every incidents….we went back to the same old days…Started from the very opening day, debate competition, our nature club camp, youth festival, tour, exams, inaugural ceremony of our school building ,then at the end ,our farewell on which day we all cried…I wondered!! After my batch, 5 batches passed out… But, my teachers still remember each and every faces of the first batch??? they said,” After you people, we never get such an amazing batch…” I felt like am on the top of the world…-:)

We recollected everything…first turn was of debate competition...Berly sir still remembers “Shameera’s chayakkada”…the question “bondayykku entha englishil parayuka??” we were seeing the stage and the function again… I could see me also in the stage with shoji sir’s team…--:)

Then started about the camp….I was remembering about the biological names of the plants…I never forget the same….we, some curious girls, always keep on asking about the scientific names of the plants whatever we are seeing…Berly sir was replaying and at the end he fed up with our stupid question and answering like “Indiana botanica, astricana italica…’ we “budhoos” scribbling in our writing pad…we couldn’t understand even after long time also that sir was joking…and when we realized, our book was filled with a hell lots of biological names of “Chappu chavaru”

Again loads of incidents during the camp…boat riding in the dam, trucking in the forest, running afraid of elephants, anthakshari in the night…..etc etc… Then I met George sir, my class teacher for 2 years. He was saying “I miss my class a lot deepa. I never felt happy with any other batch as much I was happy with you people…” I could see on his face his love and affection for his children…

Then Roy sir came up with a fascinating thing…he asked me to give a session about global warming to the members of nature club…I dint know what I would tell them? Didn't refer anything…But sir told,” no deepa u can. Do it”…I got into my full swing…and rocked as usual……ha ha….but for me the most exciting thing is, I could intermingle with the students who are 5 batches junior to me… I could talk to them, I could share my thoughts with them, I could get their outlook ….I could find out their wavelength very quickly…its one of the most cherished moment in my life…

Then Sister Celin (our Hindi teacher) took me to one class...they wanted me to share my experiences in an MNC…when I entered into the class, all got stand up… “Ammooooo” I was shocked and blushed out….I told them “yyooo….avide irunno...Plz…” they also laughed out….they started to shoot me with queries. But I was just like in a dream…I was staring at one girl who was sitting where I sat long back. she might have thought” ee deepa chechiyenthina enne ingane thurichu nokkunne” --:) I truly wished, if I could sit there once more for some while, if I could listen to the classes once more… if I could ……

Lunch break…


I saw the students rushing for having their lunch….I was standing in the 2nd floor and watching them…again I went back to old days. I could see my best pals and me in that ash and light blue uniform standing next to the hand wash area….always keep on talking about something ,laughing and cherishing their each and every moments…someone called and woke me up…I just twisted my face from them coz my eyes were welled up…

Time for Alvida...

Rani teacher was saying "stay back Deepa for some more time...we love to talk to you…”but I had to leave…I felt like weeping while I was leaving from there…

I left school by around 3.00 with lots and loads of blessings and best wishes...and a handful of loving and beautiful memories...


What I could say… It’s my school...it’s my playground. …a place which is linked with me from my previous births. Where I cultured the whole lot… I got my ethics… my strength…my confidence…my outlook.

My teachers, with whom I can share anything even my very personal things…my well wishers….and above all, my best friends too…I know, I can’t get such kind of teachers even in my reincarnation also...Missing someone there like Emily teacher, Shoji sir, Theresa Teacher.

Thanks to all my dearest teachers….Starting from our beloved Principal Mathew Sir, then George Sir, Berly Sir, Rani Teacher, Augstin Sir, Roy Sir, Emily Teacher, Sabu Sir, Sister Celin, Deepa Teacher, Jaymol Teacher, Theresa Teacher, Jyothi Teacher, Sajin Sir, Jomsy Teacher and last but not least our great Manager Fr. Mathew Panachikkal..

And my best friends... part of my life....my entire class...the moments we spent and shared with each other...the incidents where we stood by holding our hands together...the issues where we showed our unity...the happiest moments where we celebrated like anything...Together we lived with the harmony of friendship… I miss you all and love you a lot....

One day, if The Almighty come to me and ask” tell me one day from your past which you want to live once more in your life, I will give you”. I would surely ask one of the days from my school days so that I can live again one day with my friends, my teachers in my class...

And I was humming on my way…… “

Oru vattom koodiyen ormakal meyunna thirumuttathethuvan moham….”