Breaking Down...

I was on the way to ghost land...
A turn to left and the street down
Everywhere I looked, I saw darkness
My heart was telling me stay here
But the blanket of fear covered up my brain
Where to stay, sit or stand
I was confused, I couldn’t understand

I was alone in the darkness
I wanted to scream so that someone could listen to me
I wanted to run so that I could get rid of the darkness around me.
But I couldn’t...
I couldn’t yell ...I couldn’t run..
I was worn-out...I was dying...
It was burning my inside
like the vampire venom is just injected...
I fell down and curled up into my knees...
I wept...even I couldn’t hear my sound....
Cold freezing breeze stormed against my skin
and I could feel the piercing pain in my bones...I wished if I could be on my feet...
If I could walk away from the darkness...
but I was tied up with the icy storm
and the pain was increasing exponentially...

I felt a sharp rip of glass across my head…
I could smell the blood soaking my face,
Which eventually sucked my consciousness away.....
My eyes were closing. Images were fading...
And I was breaking down...
I was breaking down completely...

Maggi @ 2.30 A.M

Life is getting miserable day by day….over the past 5 months, after I’ve scribbled my last blog, a lot more things have happened in my life ,those changed the way of living and even my way of thinking too….some irreversible changes made me to be bold to make some strong decisions which eventually made me broken down…but I know I have to be strong ,else I’m gonna lose my life forever…..so better to be bold now rather go mad later…most paining part is, the things which are happening in my life, exactly opposite to the way I wanted for…so very difficult to get along with them…. But I know it’s all the part of this game…I’ve to move on by letting the painful memories to be dipped down in the past….and I do….

But I have to tell, I do get a few smiles too in my life. Those I cherished for my life time…with all love and affection….try to keep them close to my heart…. after the ridiculous shift ,which am got into now, I used to get back to my bed by 5’o clock in the morning….by the time I get up, my roomies won’t come back after their work..So though live in a single room, I do meet my friends only at the weekend… so we get fewer time frames to spend together…

Yesterday, after my shift, I went to bed by 5’o in the morning and slept for the whole day...After getting up, had a lot more stuff to finish so that I can sit aside for a while freely….but yesterday, we all set for DanceIndiadance grand finale in the late eve, again 3 hrs television took away…

In room, Deepa is completely engaged with her MBA exams (and if I write about her preparations, it will take another 2-3 pages...so better later) and Soumya is in the middle of “Twilight”, I forced myself to join the vampire wedding ceremony ….by the time Dachu has reached, I was on the dance floor with Edward…Seconds were being counted by heartbeats..and I started to feel hungry as I haven’t had my food properly for the whole day…at almost 2.30 I couldn’t control myself and started to search the boxes in cupboards….no way…not even some chips which I always deny to have… :( a fire started to burn in my stomach..Soon Soumya joined with me as she was also hungry…we were thinking of various possibilities of getting food at 2.30 in the morning…all restaurants must be closed…so what to do?? I guess feeling hungry is a kind of epidemic coz soon Deepa and Dachu also joined the group….

Suddenly bulb turned on...Maggi…….2 min wonder….but how to prepare?? No methods to boil the water…at last we got the vaporizer...But it was very tough to get proper boiled water….somehow we managed… poured water to the steel plate and put Maggi too…and at last Maggi was ready but due to the improperly boiled water, it was not too tasty to have…but due to the exaggeration of hungry, we never mind..We all had with loads of comments as the side dishes...Those I can’t pen down here :) …but it was a very lively atmosphere with hot Maggi and cold water…

If you ask me whether my stomach got full, I would say no...But if you ask me “are you satisfied”, I would surely say “yeah, I’m”….coz the Maggi was prepared by adding the taste of friendship and beauty of togetherness and the sweetness of the moments when I smile from my heart with my buddies….Although all of us now going through a very tough time in our office, we do keep all the worries there and celebrating each and every moments like we have never experienced….friendship is something like that..it’s not just calling/chatting with “hi ,hello”…it is something by which we do touch someone else’s heart with love…the feeling of having someone to share the smiles and tears….Dear friends,I love you all… :)

After all the hungamas, Deepa went back to her books, Soumya joined back to Bella’s team, Dachu gone for bed and I joined back to Edward on the dance floor in his happy place…. :)

Unforgettable breakfast...

It is our routine in every Sunday to go to Kairali (a hotel near to our hostel) for breakfast.’Coz I think, we will get better food even in the refugee camps in Somalia than the food in our hostel on Sunday. As usual, today morning also, we went. Most of the days, it’s not necessary that all will have their wallets in hand. But today, we had. But...

Kairali in Sunday morning means spending some time together, morning walk, some masti and Masaladosa for us...The uncle over there, who used to serve us, knows that we are going there for only masaladosa. Our all-time favourite and one tea also .So he doesn’t need to take the order at all. Today also, while leaving the room, we decided to have masala dosa.but after reaching there, we felt, “why’d the same item every time, why can’t we have a change. “We asked uncle for something different. He told “appam n chicken curry”. We Agreed. After some while I felt something n asked my friend (she is also deepa) “dii, you have money with you na? I have only 60/- with me”. She said “don’t worry di, I have” then she opened her wallet. With lots of depression, we came to know that she has only 35/- in her wallet. What happened was I was about to go ATM for taking money and she changed her wallet.obviously both of us didn’t have enough amount with us. Both of us thought that the other one will have enough money.

We were thinking, what should do? If the amount will exceeds the money we have.?? Then we thought, ok don’t take tea today. Then at least we can manage with adding the pennies too... For me, without tea, i feel my breakfast is incomplete. But compromised.but what happened was the uncle, who knows that we used to have tea also, without even asking, today, brought two teacups and kept beside us. We were like “blim” L...we didn’t know whether to cry or laugh...by seeing our expressions, uncle asked “what happened? Is there any problems with the tea?” we said, “no, no...It’s fine”. How would we tell him to take back the tea cups?

We looked at each other. What would do? We were rewinding the scenes in the films where the hero and his buddies are cleaning the plates in the hotel...(: P) We felt to laugh and cry together...then consoled each other “no dear, we can manage”...then we asked each other “can we?”

But, we, the brave girls (: P) continued our food...though we acted like “don’t care, let’s see what will happen”, we were bit afraid and tensed... at last the bill came...we looked at the bill. Our heart beats were like “dim dim...” but thank God, we escaped...it was bit smaller than our wallet...

After billing, we left the hotel...Uncle was waving his hand...we were laughing like anything by recollecting the moments...

Anyways, I have to tell....the food was awesome...We enjoyed it very well even in those tensed moments...